Stage fright??

I bumped into Nigel again last night!!! He was in a much better mood this time! We talked for quite a long time and had a bottle of wine too.
I told him that it had always been an ambition of mine to tread the boards and to do some acting and he said:
"Yes my luvvie, I can see that you'd be a good Puck"

He went on to tell me a lot about his history as a thesbian and about the various acts that he'd been involved in.
At one point in his career he was know as "The Big Cheese" but this was only because his acting stank! He did however improve.
I think there's a pub in Cardiff with an unusual nautical name and Nigel hangs out there a lot I believe,
He asked me:
"Would you like to come up the Rear Admirals Porthole later?"
I declined.

Nigel was a bit flushed in the face when he came into the bar, he told me that he'd just finished a performace and was really hot and so he'd had a fan blowing him under his gown after the show!

One of his favourite perfomances used to include a unicycle act but without the saddle, but he had to stop it because of complaints from some sections of the audience that he seemed to be enjoying it too much.
I think he's into Morris Dancing to cos he's invited me to dance around his Maypole anytime I want.

He told me:
"I was up the Rear Admiral's Porthole the other evening, old thing, and I was telling my chum that I was going trolling round the Greek isles for the summer"
I asked him if that was anything like camping. He said it was the way he did it! He booked online apparently. He's a whiz with new technology. He said he Googled me the other evening to great effect! I never felt a thing!

He's invited me to act in a two man play he's about to start called "A Pant in the Country!" about a butler coming undone below stairs! Nigel plays the important part of the butler and I play the rest of him!! That's the best gag in the show!

Old Nigel seems to have a love of all things Nautical. He told me that he just loves seamen, so I offered to take him to Cardiff Bay to see them unloading the ships, but he lust looked at me with a blank look on his face.

He told me of an act he once did that invlovled nude tight-rope walking but he had to give it up cos he kept slipping and catching his essentials on the rope and he was starting to walk like an extra from "Planet of the Apes". Poor thing.

He also writing the screen-play to a movie that he wants to make. It's a marvellous script all about a fortune-telling boxer, The Clairvoyant Kid. He's good at the old fortune telling lark but not much cop as a boxer. It's called "Crystal Balls and a Glass Jaw". I think it's a goer.

He said:
"I went to have my legs waxed today Andy old thing, you have to be prepared dont you luvvie? I got into the seat and the girl asked me if I wanted a Brazillian, I declined. I cant stand coffee!".
I started to explain but thought better of it!

He told me of an act that used be part of his stage show back in the 40's, they were old Music Hall tumblers, called "The Bouncing Czechs".
He said: "They Sent a chill up me money belt! I've never been a part of this act, but you ask anyone in Show-Biz about Bouncing Czechs and for some reason, they'll think of me!"

He went on: "Apparently their names were Novak & Good. D'you know, people have repeatedly accused me of being both of them! Often I've had to slam a stage door closed or nip off on a borrowed stage manager's bicycle to the cries of "You're Novak & Good!" from the great unwashed."

I'm begining to like Nigel,, although there's this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that tells me there's something I'm missing!
I'll keep you posted.
(I'll write something about Spiny Norman soon, I promise!!!)